Hi friends, I hope this week is going well for you! If you’re participating in runDisney’s Walt Disney World Marathon weekend like I am, the realization that it’s now less than 4 months away may have hit you like a ton of bricks. Or maybe it’s just me panicking?!
I can’t fully believe I will be doing a 5k, 10k, Half Marathon, and Marathon within only 4 days. I’m freaking out about it but at the same time I will trust my training. I’m following Jeff Galloway’s training plan for experienced runners who have run at least one marathon. His training helped me and so many others finish the Tinker Bell Half last year feeling strong and healthy. I have reason to have faith. Aaaagh, it’s such a big goal to do 48.6 miles in 4 days though!!!
I don’t always start off my run by crying – but on Sunday before my 11 mile training run, I did. The emotions of Dopey being just 4 months out really hit me hard – can I do it?! On top of that, the bottom of my right heel has been sore and I’m getting over a lingering cold. I felt like a mess but I started up the treadmill and began walking.
The first 4 miles felt like 10. It was like time was standing still. I knew I had to push hard to both keep up my pace and finish that training run. It’s not an option for me to miss any runs long or short. I will not give in to any excuses, no matter how easy it has felt for me to just give up in the past.
That’s been the hardest thing for me with maintaining such a huge weight loss – to find balance and know when I can slack off a little and when I need to push hard. Right now I’m 15 pounds from where I want to be. The three pounds I lost a few weeks ago keep hopping back on and off again since I started training hard and pushing my pace. I know it’s my body building up stores of glycogen but it still sucks. I miss seeing those lower numbers on the scale, especially after I worked so hard to lose weight to begin with! I realize it’s not all about the number on the scale, I do. I know I’m healthier than I’ve ever been, eat foods that fuel my body, get a lot of sleep, and take good care of myself. It’s just that number on the scale…grrrr.
When I was morbidly obese after having Chase, I would usually do fine with eating during the day and screw up by snacking on high calorie foods late at night. I’d always tell myself, I’ll do better tomorrow. And 99% of those tomorrows, I screwed up again and the weight stayed on.
The end result was being obese for nearly 5 years of my life. I can never get those 5 years back. It really hurts to think about, even today, just how much of my quality of life was lost because I had an unhealthy relationship with food. I was always tired, suffered from migraines regularly, and believed I was a failure at everything except for being a mom. Being a mom was the only thing I really felt like I was doing right, and I wanted to be the best mom I could be.
Even though people often say you can’t lose weight for someone else, you have to do it for yourself – I don’t believe that. I lost weight to be the mom I really wanted to be for Chase. The mom who could go down the slide with him and could run around with him at the park. Not the mom who felt winded just getting out of the car. Or the way I felt in this picture – feeling powerless about how to change and shocked at just how big I’d gotten when I saw it.
One of my before pics – taken on the beach in Oahu on vacation in 2007
I look at my before pics to remind myself of where I’ve been and exactly why I need to stay focused. So I don’t become a statistic and regain all of that weight plus more like so many people do. To remind myself why I do hard and crazy things like sign up for a 48.6 mile running challenge after completing 5 half marathons and 2 marathons already. I wish I could say that felt like enough but it’s not to me. I wanted to do something more than a marathon but felt no desire to do an Ultra. I had already planned to go Goofy in 2015 and when I heard about Dopey, it felt like a no brainer. What’s another 5k, right? Remind me of that when I’m getting up at 11pm my time to race 4 days in a row…
So here I am, this 15 pounds heavier and mere months away from doing the Dopey Challenge. I tear up at the thought of it, I just can’t help it. I’m emotional about doing such a HUGE thing. One person asked me a few weeks ago if I was even capable of doing it. I told her “I think so” but the comment still stung. In all fairness, she doesn’t know me well. She’s only known the “thinner” me because we’ve only recently met. She also doesn’t know that even though hard things scare me, my determination is solid as steel and I do it anyway.
I don’t quit.
I’ll stick faithfully to my training and count on it to prepare me for all the races. I’ve started reading though the recaps of this year’s Dopey that some of you posted here and making my way through them. Thank you for sharing so honestly and openly about your race experiences! You really are helping people. I’d love to read as many recaps as I can, learn what has worked for people and what hasn’t. I bet you would too. We can all learn so much from other runners and walkers.
One thing I’m looking forward to is finally running through the Magic Kingdom when I run the Dopey. We didn’t get to do that at Wine and Dine so it will be my first time. I’ll also be back for the WDW Princess Weekend Glass Slipper Challenge in February 2015. 19.3 miles should be a cakewalk after 48.6, right?!
I have another 45 minutes for training tonight. If my heel is still sore, I’ll walk most or all of it but I will get it done!
If you have a Dopey or Glass Slipper Challenge recap to share – whether it’s yours or another blogger’s recap that has helped you – please feel free to leave a link to it in the comments. I know I can’t be the only one feeling nervous and looking for all the help I can get to prepare for these races. We’re all in this together!